


A Frosting Battle

by ThePinkJellyfish



Series: Short Cracky Stuff [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, The Chamber Of Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:47:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinkJellyfish/pseuds/ThePinkJellyfish
Summary: This is just the final battle of Harry's second year, right? Right???
Series: Short Cracky Stuff [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093958
Comments: 8
Kudos: 5
Collections: NW14_Collection





	A Frosting Battle

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first time posting something So like I guess I should just say that Harry Potter isn't mine and I hope you enjoy it 

Harry was horrified. Ron’s little sister - Ginny he remembered - was lying on the floor. Beside her was the black diary that Harry had become acquainted with earlier that year after finding it swimming in a girls’ bathroom. Above it, was a boy that Harry had seen in a memory, but had never spoken to. The one who had caused Hagrid to be expelled. 

When the older boy spoke, Harry learned more about his true nature, how he was well on his way to killing Ginny if Harry didn’t do anything soon. When Tom Riddle used parseltongue to call the basilisk, Harry was so relieved to have the help of Fawkes. He knew he wouldn’t have had a chance without that phoenix. 

Harry somehow managed to pull a sword out of the Sorting Hat. He managed to hit the basilisk but the blade just glanced off. Well, that didn’t work. He was too short to stab it in either of its eyes, so that only left the inside of its mouth. He got his chance when the giant snake opened its mouth, about to swallow him whole. 

The blade rammed through its skull at the same time one of its fangs pierced his skin. Harry knew that he needed to get rid of that diary, and as he stabbed the diary repeatedly, it started bleeding. 

But…

Was it bleeding... strawberry jam?

Harry watched with interest as he cut the diary in half and saw white fluffy sponge on either side of a layer of jam. He dipped his finger in the bright red substance and tasted it. It was definitely strawberry. 

When Harry looked up, his vision swam. He felt light-headed and confused. Why was Riddle’s diary made out of strawberry shortcake (or at least that’s what he thought it was, he didn’t know that much about cake)? Harry watched, dazed, as the Slytherin student disappeared into thin air. That made sense. Of course Riddle would disappear if he destroyed the diary. But cake?

Harry heard Fawkes trill and felt the phoenix’s tears dripping onto his wound. He watched in fascination as the tears cleansed him of the basilisk’s venom. He practically had a hole right through his arm, but what really stunned him was that there wasn’t the expected red, but instead layers of chocolate and vanilla held together by cream. The wound still hurt, but this was just starting to feel surreal. 

Was everything made out of cake?

Harry picked up the sword once more and sliced the wall with it. It took a while, but finally Harry was able to cut a piece off the wall and see that it was in fact a really big Battenburg cake. That brought up all sorts of questions. How was the castle able to support itself if it was only made out of cake? 

How was he ALIVE if he was made out of only cake?

This must all be some horrible dream. He didn’t think he had been made out of cake before… 

That’s when Harry realized that he had in fact never seen what lay past his skin. When Dudley had beat him, Harry had never once had his skin broken, only bruised.

But then why had he not known that everything was made out of cake when he had taken science in elementary school? The muggles couldn’t be that wrong about the inner workings of the body, could they?

Harry made it his mission to find out. He would find out if the whole world was in fact made out of cake.


End file.
